It was the Slap that launched a thousand takes: last night at the Oscars, Chris Rock made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s shaved head, then her husband (and soon-to-be Best Actor winner) Will Smith ran onstage and slapped him. Once it became clear that the incident was not staged, seemingly everyone felt compelled to form an opinion on it and to share their views with friends, family members, co-workers, social-media followers, their hair stylist, their dog walker, strangers on line at the grocery store, etc.
Maybe you’ve already run through your initial viewpoints but can’t find the motivation to talk to other humans about anything else today. Never fear: We at Intelligencer have compiled the definitive guide to every possible slap take.
All of the opinions expressed below are solely view of the authors and do not reflect the opinions and beliefs of Intelligencer or its staff. (We do know which takes are correct, but we’re not telling.)
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Violence is never okay.
Will Smith was just defending his wife.
Chris Rock reacted admirably.
Will Smith’s behavior is toxic masculinity.
Chris Rock’s behavior is toxic masculinity too.
Will Smith should be arrested.
Calling for Will Smith’s arrest shows America is a carceral state.
Consequences are for non-celebrities.
The Slap will prompt a lot of awkward and unnecessary small talk.
The Slap is why men need to go to therapy.
Will Smith used the language of an abuser.
Will Smith could have killed Chris RockDirector Judd Apatow made this point in a now-deleted tweet:
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Saying Will Smith could have killed Chris Rock is racist.
Actually, GI Jane 2 is a complimentApatow has deleted this tweet as well.
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Chris Rock, of all people, should know better.
Comedians are obsolete.
The Slap puts comedians in danger.
The Slap will normalize violence in general.
We should slap people instead of cancelling them.
Non-famous people need defending too.
Will Smith is a narcissist.
Will Smith embarrassed himself and ruined his big moment.
Will Smith ruined Questlove’s big moment.
Will Smith ruined Gen-X hip-hop’s big moment.
Will Smith ruined Philadelphia’s big moment.
But also, the Slap was very Philly.
This is what Trump would have wanted.
The Slap shows that no one in America is safe.
Actually, the Slap says nothing about Society.
But failing to condemn the Slap is “woke hypocrisy”.
The Slap was staged.
The Slap will work out well for everybody involvedAt Vulture, Tirhakah Love argues that the spectacle was a win:
The moment, the 48-hour immediate afterlife of the moment, and the eventual exposé of said moment are all worth it. The Smiths and Rock know this as well and will likely capitalize on the Slap once tempers ease. Will already got the ball rolling on that front. During his Best Actor acceptance speech, Smith made the discursive connection between his King Richard character and his actions: “Richard Williams was a fierce defender of his family. In this time in my life, in this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world.” Imagine the Red Table Talks, stand-up material, and literature that’ll transpire from this.
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The Slap revealed who matters in your life.
The Slap was “a glitch in the Matrix”At the Atlantic, Sophie Gilbert writes about how difficult the moment and aftermath were to comprehend:
If, as the media theorist Neil Postman observed, jokes and entertainment might one day undo our ability to perceive things properly, then Smith’s televised assault on Rock illustrated that thesis eerily well—offering a colossal WTF moment to digest and meme and tweet-then-delete dubious takes on into infinity. But for me at least, the moment also felt like a rupture, a glitch in the Matrix. It almost felt staged. It was too wild, too uncalibrated, and then too immediately and obviously smoothed out in figurative postproduction.
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The Slap was perfect form.
The Slap could have been worse.
The Slap was Old Hollywood.
Well, what if Will Smith had slapped someone else?.
But worse things have happened at the Oscars.
The Slap “was the best thing that could have happened to the Oscars”Vulture’s Allison Willmore highlights how riveting and refreshing the Slap and what came after were:
[The Slap] was that it was the best thing that could have happened to the Oscars, destined to keep the ceremony in conversation for weeks. The incident that spawned a million takes was shocking both because it was so unexpected and because it made the awards feel abruptly intimate — not some distant glitzy gathering but a work event for a constricted group of people with its own internal hierarchies and long-standing grudges. Will Smith getting up out of his front-row seat and walking the relatively short distance onto the stage to smack Chris Rock was a breaking of protocol, and it was also a breaking of the Oscars pretense that this is the night Hollywood gets together to enjoy its own company. It’s an industry function, and plenty of industries have their own star system and awards, and they’re probably all as messy — they’re just not televised. …
The A-list façade cracked to reveal something vulnerable and unplanned, which is, in its conflicting, electric uncertainty, why a lot of us still watch the Oscars — not for montages of James Bond or the empty banalities but for unscripted moments from some of the most carefully manicured and impeccably public-personae people in the world. Movie lovers, unite?
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Ukraine deserves more attention than the Slap.
Don’t mind the Slap, it’s just a distraction.
Will Smith’s tailoring was on point, though.
The Slap will produce too many takesThis post has been updated with additional takes.
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